


Carlos' Playlist

by Blue_XI



Series: TK and Carlos [3]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Bad BDSM Etiquette, Barebacking, Borderline verbal abuse, Consensual Kink, Declarations Of Love, Dubious Consent, Edgeplay, Endless Teasing by Horrible Teammates, Español | Spanish, Hair-pulling, Heavy BDSM, Inspired by Music, Jealous Carlos, Jealousy, M/M, Music, Overstimulation, Possessive Carlos, Possessive Sex, Rough Sex, Spanking, TK pushing all the limits, Unsafe Sex, Verbal Humiliation, Verbal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:28:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24823090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_XI/pseuds/Blue_XI
Summary: “Well, like, um, I guess there is my boyfriend”“Oh”“Who I don’t even really know is my boyfriend, boyfriend. It’s all kinda new”Or the one time when TK intentionally found out about Carlos’ musical taste.Set after the season finale.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: TK and Carlos [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794460
Comments: 8
Kudos: 96





	Carlos' Playlist

**Author's Note:**

> ATTENTION: TRIGGER WARNING  
> This work depicts elements of BDSM practices set in action by people in a very unsafe way. It has explicit power dynamics with heavy verbal and physical abuse being active part of sex mechanics done by two adult consensual characters.  
> You should not under any circumstance try to reproduce any of the events in this work without proper guidance in BDSM practices. If you're interested and wants to start doing things like these, please look for guidance from a person who has proven 10+ years of experience in the BDSM world and that you trust. If you can, don't seek for this guidance online, there's a lot of misinformaton and fake news out there.  
> It also has several mentions of actual physical and psycological abuse one of the characters supposedly suffered from in the past.  
> Do NOT go through with reading this piece if any of these warnings touch a sensible subject for you. It's a well-written work, but think always of your well-being, health and safety first.

  
Carlos’ presence was something that always made TK feel alive. Not like a bungee jump scare that almost separates your body from your soul and definitely not the kind of life awakening crisis that comes from a near death experience – those TK knew way too well and to be fair, was way more comfortable with them that he’d care to admit to his dad. No, it was like a softer version of those electric shock toys which kids use to prank each other. It made all the nerve-endings in his skin tingle and he’d feel sudden wave of warmth all over, like if he was blushing – which, depending on the situation, it would be another included reaction. It wasn’t bad at all, but it sometimes bothered TK because he forgot how it felt to actually feel _desired_ , _wanted_ , _needed_. Butterflies in his stomach and all that. Because it made him confront the fact that, based on Alex’s actions in the last few months of their relationship, all the signs were there, but TK was too stubborn to read them and that his marriage proposal was nothing more than a desperate attempt to make himself feel good, like if he could maintain the fantasy of the perfect relationship he had been living on, then everything else in his life would be perfect too. He did not ask Alex to marry him because he was madly in love and thought he was the man of his dreams, or the love of his life, or the one. He did it because he felt cornered in his fake reality, which he tended to always create, one way or another, to escape the whirlwind of anxiety that has always been his mind.

In therapy, he was still a long way from being able to admit that to himself.

TK pretended a lot. He’d put a strong front for his dad so he’d think everything was always alright and didn’t have to bother with the fact that he abandoned his son for his co-workers. He’d put a strong front for his mother so she wouldn’t think his father absence affected him too much. He’d put a strong front for both of them so they wouldn’t feel guilty with the fact that after 9/11, they barely tried with their marriage and that their divorce wasn’t a big deal for him. He’d put a strong front for his friends, always willing to do anything dangerous and reckless just to prove that he could, and therefore deserved their time and affection. Finally, he faked until he made it.

Wanting to prove himself to his dad, check.

Wanting to show his mother he was strong enough to do anything, check.

Wanting to live like there’s no tomorrow so people would think he’s THE GUY, check.

Well, with all those boxes checked, he could only have wounded up a firefighter.

If it ever came to that, someday TK would realize that his love for pretending came from his childhood traumas in which his dad never made an effort to pretend. Owen Strand had always been a truthful man, a man of action. He did not waste his time putting a front to TK to pretend about anything. His fights with TK’s mom were never hushed, silent and in the middle of the night. He was 7 and he knew exactly in what pace his parents relationship was on. He didn’t understand the concept of divorce yet when his parents got separated. So he unconsciously created this fantasy that, if he put in enough effort and enough “fake until you make it” attitude, he could make his relationship with Alex a fairy tale come true.

And after that, with his heart broken and his beliefs that he could do better than his parents because he somehow was going to be less of a screw up than they were destroyed, TK closed himself up to feeling; and to letting those feelings show.

Of course Carlos didn’t make it an easy task. But TK managed. For as long as he could.

Officer Reyes, however, was relentless. Caring, interested, sweet and so hot… Every time he saw those brown eyes, his resolve would become weaker and weaker. And his knees would give in a little. Even when he met with Carlos for average, no pressure, brunch smoothies downtown to talk about their relationship; he stalled all he could, because somehow ending things with this man did not feel right at all; but TK couldn’t help the way Carlos would most certainly react when he saw how much of a screw up and a mess he was – even more than what was already known.

The solar storm was… Well, he wouldn’t like to call it a gift from the heavens because it was serious and a lot of people got seriously injured in it; but it definitely helped him to see things more clearly, without his stuck-in-a-loop anxious brain getting in the way. That was the thing about being in the eye of the hurricane every time – also known as being a firefighter – he could shut down every thought, and go on only on instinct. No other profession was so high-stakes and so high-pressure and with such adrenaline-rush. To let him shut himself up internally long enough so he could make a difference. He just needed to be reminded of that.

Of the lack of feeling.

And all the feelings.

All the things Carlos made him feel ever since their first heated up hook up kiss. The way they clicked together, owning that bus crash scene. And how stupid he was, as usual, for denying something that was so clear to everybody else.

Even to Owen, that did know TK was seeing Carlos, but when he saw the police officer sit at his son bedside in a hospital after being shot and cry; realized it was so much more serious than he thought. He could only hope TK wouldn’t let his hurt stop him from trying again and wouldn’t let it hurt Carlos, because Owen did like this officer. It doesn’t need to be said, but Owen did not like the majority of TK’s boyfriends because he could see they were not good for his son and he did manage things while he could with a hormonal teenage TK; but after adulthood, it was more like a game of sitting back and watching his son break his heart again and again until he learned. There are things you cannot shield your child from in life, even if you want to. There are kinds of personal growth one can only achieve through personal experience and depriving someone from those experiences with over-protectiveness would do even more harm. Owen was evolved that much, but he did eventually step in every time things got out of control, specially with TK’s drug addiction, violent and suicidal instincts. He truly felt like he was doing his best, but he knew it was never going to be enough if his son didn’t decide to compromise too. He wasn’t trying to baby TK at the age of 26, that’s what he’d tell himself, but that’s what he’d always end-up doing. It was good to know, ultimately, that his son was going through hardships and solving them on his own. Independence was of the essence. Specially because Owen, although going through his treatment and receiving positive feedback on his illness status, would always have a part of himself ready to go, a part that _needed_ to know that if he did, his son would be ok. It was a possibility he always had in mind, but didn’t feel real until his diagnosis and TK’s overdose. Without TK’s mother on the picture, it was all on him and if he died…

If Owen only knew that TK was also preparing him for the event of his son not being around anymore for the longest time…

Anyways, things changed a bit after that solar storm. TK started to accept that not everything was going to be under his control always and that it was ok. He finally gave in to his feelings for Carlos instead of his fear of being hurt again. He started to deal with his self-doubt and self-esteem issues and brought them up in therapy, also trying to learn to speak about his feelings – and realizing one of the reasons he liked being a first responder was because it didn’t need so much talking. But it was for him to get better, for his dad and now for Carlos, so he would go through whatever torture he needed to endure.

The good news was that now he was in a better sync with his new team. He trusted them, his little feud with Judd was behind them and it made their connection on the field even stronger. The five of them were a close unit, working together so well that Owen rarely needed to give any verbal commands anymore. Just a flick of his head and everyone knew exactly what to do and where to go, how to approach an emergency. Judd still did not like being Acting Chief when he eventually needed to cover for the time Owen was in the hospital getting his treatments. But it was definitely a better option than the close 2 nd  – Acting Chief Strand. And nobody except Michelle would say it to TK’s face that they wouldn’t let his already stratospheric ego and impulsiveness get a hold of a commanding position. Little did they know, TK had been preparing to take the Lieutenancy Test in a few months. That would be a nice surprise for everyone.

He and Carlos were studying together. What they could, at least, like local laws and general codes. Carlos was also applying for a Sergeant position in the APD. It was nice having someone who actually encouraged him to grow and get better, to flourish professionally. When he got into the Fire Academy, both his mother and his boyfriend at the time said he was out of his mind. By the time he landed on his dad’s fire-station, he was already with Alex, but it didn’t mean that things were any easier. Alex would always complain about the late and erratic hours of this job, of how TK could not give him attention when he needed and they could never have, truly, scheduled couple events; because TK could get called in at any given time. And being the Chief’s son, it wasn’t like TK had the luxury of saying no. And these were only the cases of filling in for someone on a medical leave or extra shifts to be able to meet his ridiculous New York bills. The five alarm fires were a category of their own: once TK had to leave Alex in the middle of sex to go save the day – but not everyone would be happy about that. It is, indeed, hard to be in a relationship with a first responder and it takes a lot of effort and preparation; because, after all, you could lose your loved one at any given moment on the job. Asking of anyone to understand or pretend that getting tired of this wasn’t a reality wasn’t going to fix anything. Months after all that went down, TK didn’t agree with what Alex did, but reflection and therapy helped him understand it a little bit better. He still thought it was his fault, because he wasn’t good enough for Alex and couldn’t be for anyone, but he was working on it.

Things with Carlos were developing in an apparent small pace, but it was steady. They were officially boyfriends, Owen did not take no for an answer when he slipped both of them a dinner invitation with the news that TK’s mother was back from China and was coming to visit in the following weekend after the solar storm. Carlos was also planning something for TK to meet his family and TK knew, and even if Carlos hadn’t set a date yet, and it wasn’t sending him into a desperation spiral, so he guessed it’d all be just fine.

A couple of months went by like a breeze and TK was back to work in 13 days, staying on light duty for an extra week to his obvious disliking. At least he got to walk Buttercup for all the time he wanted.

Teasing from his team got unbearable, as expected, but in their defense, these two made it too easy for them. TK and Carlos were still in that phase of their relationship where they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other or keep it in their pants. Every time they saw each other on a call, in full attire, they avoided eye contact. Because when they did look in the other’s direction, it was a battle to keep focused on, to avoid a boner and to be civil. Their sexual tension was so strong even Michelle got uncomfortable, and it was almost palpable the moment one of them would drag the other to their official vehicle in an absolute sex-driven insanity that was _this close_ from happening. And for that reason they tried their best, both would swear.

Owen, as a Fire Captain, could intervene and avoid contact between them in the workplace. But he had to admit it was too much fun not to indulge in. Even Nancy and Tim were making fun of them at this point, and he wouldn’t be the one to take away from them one of their main entertainment sources in their down time. He’d always laugh internally, but never indulge even in TK’s defense when the teasing would escalate.

And yet somehow neither would simply stop giving their co-workers fuel for more and more bullying. If you ask them, they’ll say it’s never their fault the series of unique situations they’re put in and they can’t help themselves.

For example, here they were: the 126 th  had been called in to a fire in a suburb house. It was nothing major, the old lady who owned the house and lived in there with her granddaughter said the oven had been malfunctioning for the last few months and they had been putting the fixing for later during this time. The kitchen caught on fire after the lady tried to bake a cake, but they got there before the fire reached the gas line and before it spread to other parts of the house. Judd and TK took point watering everything down while Marjan and Paul slipped away to cut the street’s gas line. Owen was comforting the lady while Michelle checked on her. She didn’t seem injured. She called it in and had been out of the house ever since she realized the fire, so no smoke inhalation either. It seemed like one of those nosy neighborhoods, because every single neighbor was trying to get a peep at what was happening; so Owen designated Mateo to do crowd control while he called for Traffic Control backup.

Things happened fast after this, too fast for him to be able to intervene.

Carlos’ voice and badge number came through the radio, taking the ask for help.

The lady’s granddaughter arrived, desperate, from her college class and was not able to understand her grandmother was just fine, acting too hysterically to Owen’s liking.

“Wait, sir! Mister Capitain! Wait! I guess I was mistaken” The lady, Beth, pulled on his uniform and said, while looking at her granddaughter’s face.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“You asked me earlier if there wasn’t anyone else in the premises… I said there wasn’t but there is! There is, actually. Lizzie’s cat. I forgot about him for a moment. Left him inside” She said in that heavy accent that almost made it hard to understand. And no one seemed to bat an eye to the fact that two members of the same family had the same first name? Texas is wild.

Owen blinked at her. It wouldn’t be the first time he had to rescue a house pet animal. All in all, it wasn’t a bad call because no one got hurt. So he leaned into his radio:

“TK, Judd, how are things on your end?”

Owen felt a soft touch on his shoulder. He turned around slightly and it was Carlos.

“The fire is pretty much out, Captain. We’re now looking for possible missed spots or if it migrated somewhere… Sweeping through the house” Judd replied.

“Great. The owner said she forgot about her cat. It was inside. I and the people of Austin would like to have…”

He looked at the grandmother-daughter duo, whom were fighting over something he didn’t care about, with a demanding look. It took a second for the younger woman to get what he was trying to do.

“Pearl. She’s white with big blue eyes!”

“You heard it?”

“Got it”

“On it. TK, I’ve got the first floor, you go up” Judd came through.

Marjan and Paul showed up, everything seemed to be calming down; but Owen had too much time on this job, he knew better than to trust a feeling of safety before the time.

“Captain Strand, where do you need me?” Carlos finally said, when he thought it was appropriate. His hand still in Owen’s shoulder for some reason. And Owen didn’t mind the emotional closeness he had grown to have with Carlos. It was something he was used to, spending so much time with his chosen fire families. But to have it coming from one of TK’s boyfriends, this was something new and made Owen like Carlos even more.

“Crowd control. Mateo seems to be struggling. Thank you, Carlos”

Using his first name on the job, that surprised both of them. Thirty years on the job and just when he thought he couldn’t surprise himself anymore…

“On it, Sir.” Carlos blinked twice, looked at his partner, and they went to hold back the nosy neighbors.

The radio static came through again.

“Captain, found the cat. She seems to be ok, just scared and a little roughed up. She took refuge on a tree branch out of one of the bedrooms’ window”

“Hang on” Owen saving a cat from a tree. Somethings never changed. He turned to his team outside. “Paul, bring the truck around. Marjan, see if there’s any way to raise the ladder closer to the tree”

“There’s no need. I can reach the cat from the window”

They couldn’t see what he was talking about, because the window and the tree were on the other side of the house. He would come around and take a look in what was happening out there, if he didn’t know exactly the kind of person his son was.

“TK, no! Stand down, this is an order”

“I’m almost there -” There was a lot of static cutting through in the middle of TK’s sentence, and the sound of something being dragged; followed by a loud thud. All of them ran to the back yard.

“TK!” Both Owen and Judd called, each in their side of the radio.

Hearing TK’s name and knowing his boyfriend, Carlos’ neck snapped in the direction of the firefighter fuss. What did this idiot do now?

There was a moment where a cold feeling always ran through his spine, in the same way it did when he heard that gun go off in the night when TK got shot, that paralyzing fear of losing this man he _loved_ so fucking much it physically hurt just to imagine something happening to him. And TK did not understand that – even because Carlos did not and could not express all of his feelings, in their plenitude, without the possibility of spooking away TK; a possibility he couldn’t bear to imagine. He was always doing something stupid, even more stupid than running into burning buildings; always something extra-stupid an unsafe that was totally unnecessary like this.

On the other side of the fence, down came the 126 th  scouting TK after a few minutes. He had lost his extra fire attires, Paul carrying it for him, and his face and arms were scratched and dirty. Nothing seemed to be too bad, but Carlos was sure TK did something bad.

Judd came pouring through the front door to meet them.

TK was holding something in his arms, with the greatest care in the world.

Officer McAddams, at this point distracted watching Carlos watch the firefighters, said:

“Go. I’ve got this. Go take care of him”

His co-workers could be a pain in the ass, but they could also be gentle. If they wanted to.

It took a moment to make sure the nosy neighbors would actually be under control, and then he crossed the street towards his idiotic boyfriend.

By the time he got there, something unexpected was happening.

A girl, not in her mid-twenties yet, was holding on to TK’s bicep, stroking her fingers there. Looking at him flirtatiously like he was the prettiest thing she had ever saw – which he could not disagree with, honestly, but that pretty boy belonged to him. And it was not ok.

“Oh, thank you! Thank you so much for saving Pearl! I don’t know what I would do without her” The girl said. She wouldn’t stop moving her hand up and down TK’s arm.

It was time for everyone to start setting the fire truck to go back, the call was over, but as soon as they saw Carlos approaching and the look on his face; they stayed.

“It’s alright, ma’m, just doing my job” TK looked a little uncomfortable, but Carlos couldn’t pinpoint if it actually was because of the girl’s advancements. TK had a huge ego and every opportunity he got to inflate it, he’d take it.

“Oh, but you were so brave! You didn’t need to jump out of the window, but you did! For me! And for Pearl! Without a second thought. And you hurt yourself for it, it’s not ok. I feel like I need to make it up to you” She gave a side smile that made Carlos see blue. And red. Flickering. Of the homicide division that would have to be called to clear the audacity of this bitch off of the pavement.

It was not the fact that everyone around him was looking at a spot somewhere behind his head that made TK realize what was about to happen, no. It was the goddamn tingling, starting at the base of his neck that ran all the way through the extremities of his body like a wave of fevers. In the instant, he knew it was Carlos. And he felt his boyfriend was not happy.

TK had a choice to make. Act professional or be a little shit. You guess which one he chose.

“Of course, you can always come by the firehouse. We love to have visitors” Marjan actually choke from that because never in a thousand years she thought she’d see TK flirt with a woman on purpose. Her eyes ran from TK to Carlos non-stop, she hadn’t seen something so entertaining in weeks.

Owen gave one final stern look at Carlos, who didn’t even realize, before exhaling and giving up. He had his limits. TK was as bad at flirting [with women] as he himself. Embarrassing to see genetics act in such a strong way.

“Alright, everyone. That’s a wrap. Let’s pack up and go back” He said, trying not to sound disconcerted as he was. Only Michelle picked it up.

It took a moment, but everyone started to move towards something to do. Except TK. Who was still chatting with the girl and the old lady, the girl’s hand still on his bicep.

“Excuse me, firefighter Strand, do we have a problem here?” Was what Carlos managed to say between his teeth. They were not the words at the tip of his tongue at all.

TK took his time to turn around and face Carlos with a welcoming smile that did not hide the light of mischief behind his green eyes. His face was dirty and if Carlos heard correctly, TK jumped out of a fucking window to save a cat and would probably have at the very least a few bruises; but it was not what Carlos could think about right now. All he could think about was how he was two seconds away from kissing this man and ripping his clothes and owning him right then and there just so he – and everybody watching – would be reminded of who he belonged to.

“Of course not, Officer Reyes. These fine ladies were just showing the fire department a little appreciation for yet another job well done” The little shit’s voice wavered a bit and he shivered under Carlos’ gaze, like if he was starting to understand the kind of consequence his actions would have.

Carlos stepped closer, much closer than professionally acceptable by any means, puffed out his considerable chest, jaw clenched and big arms on display; taking advantage of the little bit of height he had over his boyfriend, and towered over him, looking down with pierced eyes and little pupils. If TK needed to be put on his place and reminded who called the shots; he wouldn’t do it very often, but everyone had their limits; and he’d do it.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I heard your Captain calling the firefighters off the scene. This is now an active scene of investigation. You’re trespassing” He breathed, pointedly, at TK’s face.

TK opened his mouth like he was going to bite back with yet another smart comment, but thought twice about it. He lowered his gaze, not completely admitting defeat however, and mentioned to go; but Carlos didn’t move and he had to step around him. All the way while he went back to the truck, Carlos locked eyes with his backside. Before opening the door to go in, he offered a satisfied smile, like he was proud of what he did.

Carlos was about to pull out his gun. Or his dick.

He only allowed himself to come back to reality when they started the firetruck.

He turned around, gave the girl a look from her feet to her head and back to her feet, not making any effort to hide his deep annoyance, before reaching for his radio:

“McAddams, I need you here” He said, before storming off. There was no way in hell he was taking this girl´s statement.

—§—

By the time they got back to the firestation, TK’s phone had buzzed only once. He stepped out of the truck and went for it immediately.

Only one text. Few words.

“My place as soon as you get out”

TK shivered again. It was going to be a very interesting evening.

—§—

Tyler got out of the firehouse as soon as he could. It turned seven o’clock on his lockscreen and he didn’t give a damn if his replacement for the next shift was there yet or not – which he always did, being the Chief’s son and all, an unspoken workplace political rule he followed thoroughly, but not tonight. His skin was on fire and his mind running laps thinking about what he did and if he fucked up. Carlos did not contact him again the entire day. Did he keep things only on the fun teasing side, or did he cross a line? He wasn’t so sure anymore.

His Uber pulled up in the street and he climbed in immediately, destination to Carlos’ place already saved in the favorites.

It wasn’t something they planned, but every now and then, the talk about having some fun sexy times in work clothes came between them. Tonight, TK just didn’t mind changing out of his uniform, he was going to be there as soon as humanly possible. He was restless, the driver had to remind him of putting on the seat belt and he forgot about it on his way out, being pulled back and wrestling with it.

He jumped onto the street and… Carlos’ camaro wasn’t in the driveway yet.

From all the nights his boyfriend could get stuck on the job, why did it have to be on the one he was about to have a mental breakdown?

He considered calling, but it’d take little effect. He knew Carlos would always take calls from three people while on the job and TK was indeed one of them, but still it wasn’t something he liked to do just because he could. And after his little theatricals earlier, he didn’t know what kind of reaction it’d pull out of Carlos.

So he went on, took the spare key from beneath the mat – a cliché that could only occur in Texas – and let himself in. He poured himself a glass of water to see if it’d help slow himself down and went to the bedroom to scavenge for some clothes to wear after taking a shower. He had a drawer already, with some clothes, at Carlos’ place. But it didn’t stop him from stealing Carlos’ clothes every chance he got.

Then he heard a car pulling up in the driveway. And he immediately knew it was Carlos. He dropped everything and went straight back to the living room.

Just in time to see Carlos, still with his frown and still in his uniform, also; get in and shut the door behind him with his foot with such force like TK had never seen him do before.

When Carlos’ eyes locked TK’s frame in his living room, he dropped his bag and made a straight line towards him, determined.

For a split second, TK had the impression the deep trouble he was in was actually deeper than he imagined. He braced himself for a punch when Carlos was one step away… But it never came.

Instead, he felt hands on his hips and very familiar chest pushing his body roughly, until his hips hit the kitchen table.

Carlos’ body was pressed so hard against him it felt like a second skin.

“You were a very bad boy today, TK. A very, very, bad, bad boy” Carlos’ voice was low, almost a growl, and his breath was hot against TK’s ear.

TK didn’t know how to answer yet, so he just swallowed the lump in his throat and didn’t dare to raise his eyes.

“And you come home to me in your uniform… Knowing what you do to me when you’re in it?”

Well, that TK knew how to react to. He finally raised his face to meet Carlos’ eyes.

“You are in your uniform too, Officer”

“It’s because I could barely get out of there fast enough to see you today, specifically. You did something to piss me off on purpose and it’s not ok. You need to be taught a lesson about respect” Carlos mouthed every word slowly, making sure TK’s eyes were following his lips.

Faster than TK could process, Carlos manhandled him without a care; turning him around and pressing him face first against the table. TK’s dick woke up inside his pants. When he heard the click of the handcuffs around his wrists, he understood shit was about to get real.

“You are not allowed to move. You are not allowed to talk except when talked to. You are not allowed to cum. Tonight, you’re gonna be my little fucktoy. And when I’m done with you, you’ll be reminded who you belong to and hopefully will learn never to push me like this again” He leaned in against TK’s body, his chest against TK’s back, and told it directly in his ear. TK couldn’t help himself, and let out a moan.

“Shut up, slut” Carlos stood back, away from TK and he missed the heat and the weight of his man’s muscles on his body. Carlos’ hand descended on TK’s ass hard. “Can’t you just shut up for a single second? Are you so much of a whore that you’ll open your legs and moan like that for anyone?”

“Not anyone, Carlos. Just you”

“Oh yeah? Tell that to that girl on the scene today. She seemed very interested in you. And you let her. You let her touch you, caress you… Se supone que eso solo lo puedo hacer yo” He knew Carlos was losing control when he switched to Spanish in a sentence. To know his man was flustered like this made him moan again, but he remembered in the last second he was not supposed to and tried to hold it back; making an actual whimper come out of his lips. Carlos did not take it well. He slapped TK’s ass again, even harder. God, he was so hard he thought he could pass out. “I told you to shush it! But I guess that’s too much to ask of you. If you want to act like a whore, I’ll treat you like a whore”

TK heard the thud of Carlos’ belt hitting the floor and _sweet Lord_ , this man had a _gun_ on him and TK was totally at his mercy. He didn’t dare to move, even his breathing was as controlled as possible. He had really pushed all the buttons in Carlos, because his patient, caring, loving man had become an animalistic sex beast. It did turn him on, but it was also reason for concern. However, he didn’t have time to indulge in profound thoughts, because Carlos wrapped his hands around his waste-band, undid his belt and pushed his pants down…

“Pendejo!” Carlos felt weak at his knees. This man… TK, he had no limits, no shame, and was going to be the death of him and he knew it. “You… You wear this to work? A jockstrap? So this is why your ass always looks so good in your uniform… Do the people you work with know about this? Judd? Paul? Does your dad?”

TK moaned at the humiliation. It was so embarrassing and so fucking hot. His dick was throbbing so much in his jockstrap and, although it had a thicker fabric than usual underwear, he could feel it starting to get wet. He was surprised he hadn’t cum already. But then again, if he did cum without Carlos’ permission, he didn’t think things would end well for him. But if Carlos ordered right now, TK would come like a fucking volcano.

“Contéstame! Who do you wear it for? Why do your wear a jockstrap at work?” Carlos slapped TK’s ass again. It was surely crimson red at this point, with TK being so white, and to imagine the mark of Carlos’ fingers on his skin… TK couldn’t tell if he was shivering because of the pain or because of the pleasure.

“You! I wear it for you! So every time I see you on a call, I can always find a way to bend over and get your attention with my ass. It works every time. It makes me feel desired. You’re always so professional and to make you lose your cool, even just for a moment... It makes me feel powerful. Over you” A light-bulb lighted up in Carlos’ head and he knew exactly what TK was talking about. All the times they were on calls together and, presumably innocently, TK’d find a way to always drop something, or catch something off the ground, or carry something in a way that always made him raise his ass up in the air in Carlos’ direction, almost like he was _presenting_.

In the middle of the fucking street. In the middle of emergencies. All day long. Wearing a sweaty, filthy jockstrap with no covering for his ass just because he wanted 3 seconds of Carlos’ attention on his body. To make him feel good. To make him feel sexy. To reassure himself that this man was his to toy with as he pleased. That their relationship was based on real feelings.

Did anyone know about this? Carlos supposed not. Otherwise, Judd and Marjan wouldn’t let TK survive this and Michelle would’ve told him already. Owen would have buried himself alive to avoid having to deal with this.

TK was chaotic, energetic, layered and a fucking nasty pig. Carlos was the centered one, calm, controlled, always put together. TK was a power bottom, always pushing, demanding and taking whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted and Carlos was the soft top who would do anything for his man. TK always thought he did what he wanted and Carlos just followed along, and he liked it like this, this power dynamics; he liked having the control of their desire and feelings and pace. Maybe if he held all the cards close to his chest, he wouldn’t lose at this game again. If he only knew the subtle, deeper game of persuasion Carlos played, he could understand. But TK was too much action and little strategy. It’d take a long time for him to realize what Carlos had been doing all along. He allowed TK to have the illusion of control, while moving all the pieces around him so he’d do and go and say exactly what Carlos wanted. Just like a black widow and a fly, TK flied into Carlos’ web and the more he moved, more tangled up he was. An easy pray for a deadly predator.

Before TK, Carlos had very little chance to explore his sexual desires outside of vanilla sex and it was ok, he was satisfied with that. And then comes along this man, blows the doors to his heart out of their handles and Carlos would do anything, everything in his name. Would indulge in any sexual sexual adventure the City Boy would bring up. TK was an experienced man. He learned a lot about several sexual practices in his 26 years. He and Alex attended Folsom Street whenever they could. He tried a lot of out-of-the-box sexual practices and was into a lot of them. Carlos was still learning, but was surprised to see how turned on it made him feel, like sex before this was just a flazédah tease and _this_ , this is what it was supposed to feel all the time.

“So you turn this slutty little ass of yours to me every time you can, in the middle of the street, in the light of day… To tease me, to turn me on? Is that what you wanted? To give me a boner in front of everyone? To humiliate me and know I was grateful just because it was you who did it?”

“YES!” TK screamed. He was so fucking turned on that a tear rolled down his left cheek.

Carlos pulled the band of TK’s jockstrap and let it hit his skin, marking it even more. It made TK jump forward, even moving the table a little out of place. Carlos was so good at mind games, sometimes he surprised himself.

“You get off on that when you get back to the firehouse, I bet. Find a dark little corner to jerk off to that. Idiota. Because of this, I’m gonna show you now all the things I want to do with you every time I see that ass in public. Everything I want to do to you right then and there. And from what I’ve seen today, you’d like for me to bend you over your firetruck, push down your pants and bury my dick inside you. Just like that. Simple, fast, hard. For everyone to see. Do you think they know you’re such a cock-slut, TK? What do you think they’d say if they saw it? Judd, Paul, Marjan… Even little Mateo. Do you think your dad would be pleased to know his son can take a huge cock up his ass like he was made for this, and he was – he is, just push it in and you can take it? Do you think we’d even be entertaining enough to make it to the local news?”

TK choked on the mix of tears, sweat, mucus and saliva in his face because this was _too much_ , **it was too much** ; nobody had never… TK could not believe this, God, if he survived this night he was going to keep this man forever. He was straight out sobbing now. His head was dizzy, but every word out of Carlos’ mouth felt like a nail being hammered into his brain. He had never in his entire life felt more turned on and this man… This man was destroying him and he was _loving_ it. What the fuck was wrong with them?

“I’m going to eat you out now, like I’d like to eat you out in the back seat of your truck while we’re out on a call. So unless you want to know what is Judd’s face when he sees you being the little bitch you are, you are going to keep your fucking mouth shut. Ni un solo ruido. Me has escuchado, puta? If you make any noise, I’ll stop. Do you understand?”

Carlos didn’t lose any time in getting down to his knees, spreading TK’s ass cheeks apart and burying his face there. From the first contact, his tongue was already forcing entrance in TK and he was at the point of going insane. Carlos pulled TK’s hips against his face using TK’s jockstrap as leverage and was fucking him on his gorgeous face and tongue and TK wasn’t allowed to make a sound? His hands were locked behind his back, he had nothing to hold on to, he was totally at Carlos’ mercy, and there was nothing he could do about it, he doubted he could even move right now if he needed to; the only thing he could do to keep himself from breaking Carlos’ rule was to bite down his bottom lip and the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood. But it wasn’t nearly distractive enough and his heart was beating too fast and it felt like he was going to _die_. The last time he felt like this… The last time he did die. Carlos had the same effect on him as an entire bottle of oxy.

And he… He’d not stop, he’d not take a break or take a breath… He just fucked TK with his tongue, not caring about the mess he was making. Carlos pulled the jockstrap’s band and rolled it around the handcuff’s little chains, using just one hand to hold both in place at the same time: he obligated TK to raise his ass even more, to expose himself even more to him. Time was an insignificant variable. If asked later how much time they spent just like this, they wouldn’t be able to give a precise answer. It felt like days passed by. TK’s entire body was trembling, he was crying and sweating with the effort of holding his orgasm. His arms and legs were dormant at this point. He was desperate and Carlos knew. He had passed his breaking point and Carlos was still pushing further.

At one given moment, when Carlos removed his tongue from inside him and licked all the way from his balls to the beginning of his crack just to shove his tongue rudely inside again, TK wasn’t able to hold it anymore and let out a long, tortured moan.

Carlos stopped.

The hand on his hip, the right one, disappeared. But the left one pulled the cuffs and the jockstrap even harder. TK was sure he was about to dislocate his shoulders, both of them.

“Solo tenías una regla. Una regla y ni siquiera la puedes seguir”

Carlos’ hand came down on TK’s right ass cheek again. Then on the left. Then on the right again. And it kept going. Once, twice, three times… Thank god Carlos did not ask for him to count, because he couldn’t. He completely zoned out, a phenomenon called falling into the subspace. A place where the pain would take a submissive that was his own little parallel dimension, no thought, no feelings, no sensations… Just the ultimate peace. Some people called it their _mind palace_. His body could be in shock, but his mind was free. He wished all people could experience this.

When he came back to himself, it was because of Carlos’ voice calling him back. There was no more spanking, but the kitchen table he was on had been forced to move all the way until it hit the oven and a wall.

“Are you ready, Tyler? I’m going to fuck you now. Like this, opening you up with just my cock and my spit. Exactly like I’d do in the middle of the street. Not even caring to run to my car and pick up the condom and lube in my wallet. Because I cannot wait a single second longer”

Carlos bent down and spit on TK’s hole one last time before spitting on his hand again and lubricating his dick. With his left hand, he pulled TK’s ass cheek aside and with his right one he lined himself up. And pushed in. Hard.

TK couldn’t _breathe_. Carlos was fucking 9 inches long and impossibly thick and TK loved it, but he was entering him with the minimal preparation possible and there was nothing he could do about it except take it. Taking Carlos inside him was always transcending, but this… Could he survive this?

Every fiber of his body was determined to give this man anything he demanded, so he pushed down the pain, bit down on his lip, held his breath until his heart felt like it was beating inside of his brain and took it like the fucking whore he was.

Carlos went slowly all the way in, but didn’t stop until he was buried balls deep. He gave them both one moment to adjust, before giving a long testing-the-waters stroke. TK felt like this man was trying to pull his soul out from his insides and when he hit it deep again, he hauled. Nobody said it was easy.

But that didn’t discourage Carlos. He knew this man. So he went on to give him torturous take-it-almost-all-the-way-out and all-the-way-in slow fuck. His left hand securing the cuffs and the jockstrap in place and his right hand found a way to tangle it’s fingers in TK’s hair, pulling it slightly just so he would raise his head a bit.

Deep down, he wanted to check on TK, see how he was actually doing, see if the pain level was acceptable, see if he didn’t go too far… But he was so worked up, TK was so tight and warm around him, nothing but just themselves… He didn’t have much knowledge of BDSM, only what TK told him about what he used to do and the little research he did on the subject. He could only hope TK was _here_ enough to use his safeword.

He new it was a dangerous fetish and people needed experience and preparation, and there was a series of rules in place to guarantee the safety of everyone involved. The line between just enough pain to drive a submissive into his subspace and too much pain to drive his brain to shut down to protect itself from the trauma was too blurred and Carlos didn’t understand that yet so, in another words, the difference between pleasure and abuse was consent [and the ability of giving it].

Carlos was feeling a lot of things he didn’t know how to express. He let those feelings out in this way, but he was going in blind; relying completely on TK. It’d take a couple years yet for him to understand how wrong he was for doing this in this way, but they were lucky enough nothing went wrong.

TK made a sound deep in his throat and made a face, a face of pleasure – this one Carlos could identify -, and Carlos let out a breath, relieved. TK was ok. Now he could get to work without worries.

He readjusted his body a little and picked up the pace until he was jackhammering his dick inside TK’s ass and _madre mía del amor hermoso_. His ears were buzzing. TK started moaning again and it only fed the flames in his gut.

They were so sweaty that some curls of his hair were falling in his eyes. It probably had to do with the fact that both him and TK were in full work attire – for Christ’s sake – only his dick and balls were out through his zipper and TK’s pants were down in his knees, but they were dressed in their uniforms and God help them because none of this would be salvageable later. TK was always good with coming with an excuse on the spot, and his boss was also his dad; he’d never deny TK a new uniform, but his Captain probably wouldn’t be so happy about it in the middle of an election year, when they always tried [and failed] to diminish the Police Department’s budget.

Carlos could not believe he didn’t cum yet. He had no idea how much time had passed, but he was sure he had never lasted so long in his life.

All the while, TK had no more tears left to cry. He could think now, at least a little, and he knew he was working fast towards a serious dehydration but he could not care. Carlos was inside him, around him, above him… In his lips, in his skin, in his ears… His words burning in his brain and going over and over on replay. Weight, heat, pressure and speed altogether. He was sure he was on the brink of finding Nirvana.

“Get up” TK was so lost in his sensations he didn’t hear the first time Carlos called. “Get up, TK”

He called again, with a strike of softness in his voice, because when he pushed TK’s body up; he realized both his legs and arms must’ve been dormant and it’d hurt just to stand. And he was right. TK whimpered in pain and could not sustain his own weight anymore, so Carlos wrapped an arm around him pulled him out of his dick. He bent down and pulled TK’s pants out of him without taking off his boots. He than placed TK on the table again, facing him now, and maneuvered him to stay in the position he wanted TK to stay: both ankles on each side of his head.

He lined himself and entered TK again, losing no time in pistoning his hips immediately inside, just to let his hands run though TK’s sides and place themselves on his shoulder blades. He than pulled TK in his direction and onto his lap.

He knew TK loved this, when Carlos held him in the air with his ‘big arms’ and fucked into him with no support.

And love this he did, because as soon as Carlos started balancing TK on his dick like this, his eyes found focus. It was like he was coming back to reality a little. His eyes ran through the flexed muscles in Carlos’ arms beneath his police uniform and finally landed on Carlos’ very own brown eyes. His pupils were so wide that if Carlos didn’t know any better, he’d ask if TK used again.

Carlos took a sight of TK’s lips, all swollen from being bitten down too hard and could not resist. He kissed TK with everything he had left. It took a moment, but TK started kissing back, trying to match the enthusiasm. He found energy in the way Carlos embraced him, in the way Carlos held him up in the air like he weighted nothing, in the way Carlos’ mouth consumed him and in the way this man so clearly and thoroughly loved him to finally spark back to life and give it as good as he got.

His legs were on absolute fire, but he tried to firm them in a better way so he had some angle to try and make an effort to jump on Carlos’ dick and meet his trusting hips.

They separated their lips for a second, coming up for air, and Carlos touched their foreheads together. TK kept his eyes shut, as if even to open his eyelids was too much of an effort to be made now. But he didn’t stop trying to ride Carlos like this for a single second.

“Te quiero TK. Te quiero tanto que me duele. No te puedo perder. No me lo puedo ni imaginar. Sé que me ves como alguien seguro, pero no lo soy cuando se trata de tí. Eres tan hermoso y puedes tener a cualquier hombre que quieras y, aún así, me eliges a mí; un ignorante de un pueblo olvidado. Pero te quiero, de verdad. Con todo mi corazón. Y si me dejas, te trataré tan bien, durante el resto de tu vida, así que déjame hacerlo por favor. No me dejes probarte para después alejarte. Quiero que esto sea así; nosotros, para siempre. Sé que lo que has hecho hoy era para para provocarme, pero supongo que has desatado algo en mí y… no te quiero ver con nadie más. Quiero que me des la oportunidad para ser suficiente para tí. Si me dejas, solo me tendrás a mí. Sé mío. Sé mío, Tyler”

TK didn’t know any Spanish. He knew some Hebrew his rabbi insisted in inculcating in him when he was a child; but as soon as he was old enough to realize he didn’t need to speak Hebrew to be a jew, he was off. He had French classes in school, but was never the most applied student in the linguistics department – not in the traditional sense, anyways. He barely knew English, he tripped over a lot of words and expressions a lot of the time. But he didn’t need to speak another language to understand what Carlos was trying to say. He knew those words came straight from his heart and in those cases, whatever language they’re spoken on, they always mean the same thing.

“I love you too”

Sweat was dripping on his eyes, his arms were burning with the effort, but Carlos wasn’t stopping. If he had to keep TK like this, handcuffed and bouncing on his dick on this exact position for the rest of eternity so this man wouldn’t leave him; he’d do it. TK’s words reinvigorated his will.

“That’s right, you love me. Only me. And you belong to me. Mine.” He punctuated every word with a deep and fast trust that made TK see stars.

He hugged TK closer and spun them around, taking some steps to move them to the couch. He placed TK carefully, without letting his dick come out of TK’s hole. He slowed down for a moment, and then picked up the pace again.

TK let out a high pitch that made him remember neither of them had cum yet and this was going on for so long… How was that possible?

The new position made the head of TK’s dick escape through the upper band of his jockstrap. It was so red, so wet, so messy… So fucking hot.

“Do you think you can cum like this, TK? Without touching yourself? Just with me fucking you?”

“I could’ve cum hours ago when you had your tongue inside me, but I- ah” He had to take a break because Carlos dangled his hips with that latino swagger that made his dick dance inside of him and against his prostate and made him feel divided between begging OH GOD PLEASE LET ME CUM and screaming OH GOD PLEASE DON’T EVER LET THIS STOP. “I don’t want to upset you, so I’ve been holding it. You just need to say the word. Whenever you order me to, but not before”

Carlos felt even more blood, if it was possible, running south.

“Por Dios, TK, serás la causa del infarto al corazón que me matará”

Carlos held him by the ankles and jackhammered away again, paying attention in the expressions on TK’s face, on the little sounds he made, on the details of this moment. He wanted to frame it in his brain. He wanted to remind TK like this forever. His to break apart, his to put back together.

And just like this, looking at TK’s figure, he felt a familiar burning sensation coming up from his balls but this was too hot and too fast and he couldn’t hold it. He made a series of strangled up noises in his throat that, if TK could not feel his dick getting even more swollen up inside him, would’ve been the signal he’d been waiting for. His eyes found Carlos’ and locked in on them.

“Cum in me, Carlos. I’m yours, make it so everybody knows”

These words sent Carlos over the edge, and with a half cry, his knees gave out and he fell over TK. His arms, however, were fast in wrapping themselves around TK and pulling their bodies together so tight, like he wanted to turn them into one single person; and impaling TK on his dick while his orgasm started to rock though him in a way that, honestly, it never felt so intense, like his dick was going to melt away with the heat of his cum running though it. He blanked out of existence, the only thing he cared about was inside his arms. This… _This_ was heaven. There was no other way to put it into words.

He never stopped rocking his hips, impossibly deep inside TK, and being trapped so tight, TK felt like he was being choked to death by a python; but sincerely, he couldn’t bring himself to care. This was the best possible way he could die. The happiest too.

The intensity of this, however, made TK’s eyes start to water again just when he thought he had no more fluids left on his body.

After some minutes, Carlos came down to Earth.

“Cum for me, TK” Was all he could manage to say and, honestly, all he cared about right now. He kissed the man he loved, hard, wanting to give one more reason for him to let go. And he didn’t mind at all the taste of tears on TK’s lips.

He felt TK’s dick stir immediately, trapped against his stomach, and start to pulse as his shirt got wetter and wetter. It went on non-stop for over half a minute and, well, Carlos felt proud and satisfied. He usually didn’t get soft after an orgasm, youth pumping though his veins and he used his still hard – but oversensitive – dick coat TK’s prostate through his trip.

While TK was out of it, Carlos took the moment to shower him in praises of adoration and declarations of love; even his deepest feelings. He could tell TK wasn’t there yet by the way his eyes shined – or rather, didn’t.

When he felt TK coming back, he kissed his face all over, still praising him and reassuring how much of a good boy he was and thanking him for the marvelous things they had done.

Carlos was back to his usual self.

TK wasn’t sure if he was ready to.

“Are you ok, cielo?”

“Yes, papi. It hurts, but I’m gonna be ok”

Carlos looked at him with those irresistible guilty puppy eyes he made every now and then on a blue moon where he did something wrong.

“I’m sorry I hurt you, baby. It wasn’t my intention”

“It’s okay, babe. I’m gonna be ok. But can you maybe uncuff me?”

Carlos let go and dislodged from TK. Coming out of him was difficult. His dick was hurting too, now, but it was still fucking hard, the bastard.

TK’s hole was, as expected, fucked out. Puffy, angry red, and oozing cum and blood. Not a good sign, by any means. But this night was… An exception. Carlos thought it’d take a few days for his boyfriend to recover from this and felt even more guilt.

He reached for his belt and his keys and analyzed his and TK’s uniforms. Completely soaked in sweat and cum. He wouldn’t even bother trying to wash it. It had to be incinerated, as the law determined.

When he turned TK around to uncuff him, his breath died down on his throat. TK realized it.

“What?”

“TK, dios mio, what have I done?” Carlos felt tears coming to his eyes.

Tyler’s flesh, from the middle of his thighs all the way to his lower back were picking color fast, in several tones of deep purple and deep red. Greenish-blue in the extremities.

“I’m so sorry, TK. I’m so so sorry…” He kept repeating again and again like a mantra and when TK could move again, he stood up and collected Carlos in his arms.

“It’s ok, baby. It’s okay. It happens. We both loved it, that’s what matters. Sh… Don’t cry” TK could barely sustain his own weight on his legs and the pain was surreal, but his man needed him more. After a few minutes, Carlos diminished his sobbing and TK spoke again. “I can’t really walk, so I need you to fill up the bath tub with cold water and ice. Okay?”

Carlos raised his head to meet TK’s eyes.

“Okay. You do know I didn’t mean to -”

“Sh… I know, love. Now, go”

It wasn’t his first time at the rodeo, but with Alex, treating deep bruises and injuries wasn’t always about rough sex. So TK had to learn some tricks. Specially if he wanted to keep out of his dad’s radar.

It was 2:30 am when Carlos left to fill the tub and TK could finally focus his eyes to be able to see the clock on the kitchen.

When he got back, he collected TK in his arms like he was his whole world – which he was -, and TK was able to finally sigh with relief inside the cold water.

That night, Carlos ran to the convenience store twice to get new ice packages besides emptying his freezer and TK had to sleep on the tub with a lot of tylenol. How he missed the time he could take sleeping pills. Both of them had a shift tomorrow night and TK believed if he followed his steps, he’d barely make it back to the firehouse being able to walk. But under no circumstances he was taking a medical leave and even less letting anyone know about what happened tonight. He knew if his dad, who was falling in love with Carlos as much as him, caught wind of this; he would make the wrong assumptions. It wasn’t even going to be a trial, the judgment would be passed on immediately that Carlos, from all people, was abusive and this could end not only their life together, but Carlos’ career. If only when TK actually was in an abusive relationship, anybody realized…

Looks can be deceiving, TK couldn’t afford to take this risk. His father didn’t know about his BDSM inclinations and he’d like for it to keep being this way. Not everyone could understand, specially if the details about the intensity of the practices that interested him were on display.

TK understood that he was the one with all the information and the responsibility, since he was the more experienced one. For Christ’s sake, he introduced Carlos to this. It was all on him, all the control. They’d have to go through a proper education together, but for now, everything was fine.

Nothing that happened tonight happened without consent or without both of them enjoying the pleasure. TK would not let anything get close to this man, his man, the love of his life. He would do anything for him. He’d protect him at all costs.

—§—

TK ended up not sleeping very well, but he was used – or more used to than Carlos – to erratic hours. When his boyfriend had to run to the convenience store again at 5 in the morning, he knew it was enough. Carlos came back, filled the tub with ice again and seated beside TK again in a very awkward position. He finally convinced Carlos to go to bed around 6 after spending the all night on the cold bathroom floor – after a long day of work – because he was feeling guilty. Yes, aftercare was important, but TK could handle this. There was no need for them both to have absolutely no sleep.

Around 7 something, TK was finally able to nap. It wasn’t heavy sleep like he was used to get, going out like a light every time his head hit a pillow – thank you, firefighting life for teaching us to take every possible opportunity to take a nap like it was our last. He was tired and hurt, but said body ache was the factor that didn’t let him dive in too deep. 9:30 he woke up with his ass on the tub floor, no more ice. He got out of the tub, dried himself, took the arnica gel he asked Carlos to buy him at 3 in the morning, plastered it all across his bruised skin, applied some diaper rash cream, popped two more tylenol, put on a robe Carlos found him and was ready for the day. On his bed, Carlos was snoring like a stone crusher and TK had never been more jealous of someone in his entire life just because they could pop two rivotril without a care.

He went on to swipe through the kitchen to see if he could find anything to eat – he was famished, hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday afternoon – but Carlos’ cabinets were pretty much empty. He supposed it was about that time of the month when Carlos went grocery shopping with his impossibly long and ridiculously pre-planned items. Carlos left the market already listing items for the next time he came, it was insane. His boyfriend was a control freak. And honestly, with TK’s chaotic aura, that was a good thing. He needed someone to keep him in line, to keep him grounded. Carlos needed someone to loose him up.

All he could find was some cereal, a little bit of forgotten milk and a banana. He drank what if felt like a gallon of water and would keep forcing himself to drink others during the day.

He found their uniforms, but disagreed from Carlos where he thought they were a lost cause. If his washing machine couldn’t fix it, the firehouse had an awesome industrial one that would take care of it in no time. He put it in the washing machine, set everything and they’d see about it again when it was over.

It was still early, and if TK knew his boyfriend at all, he’d need a couple hours of rest still before he could do anything. And if he was sleeping, he wouldn’t be stressing over what they did last night.

He could go out and help out by doing the grocery shopping for him, but that would only stress him out more because TK knew he wouldn’t buy anything that Carlos needed and had listed, instead just junk food and chocolate and other crap. Also, he couldn’t drive, because his legs still felt very weak and sitting wasn’t a comfortable position at all.

Trapped inside the house with nothing to do, a very loud brain and very little stuff he could actually move around to do; TK got bored. He watched some news, replied some texts, watched some funny videos on YouTube but quickly lost interest.

That’s when a brilliant idea came to him: he could always snoop around.

He never got the chance, usually, because whenever he was in Carlos’ house it was with his boyfriend and he was always the most attentive guy, always focused on TK’s wants and needs. Doing things for him, the mind-blowing sex, or the naps together after calls. He hadn’t had the opportunity to meet Carlos’ family yet and he knew all parts were interested, he knew when his man was texting with someone about him by the way his face would pick color, like he was a teenage girl ashamed of talking about her high school crush. He knew Carlos was holding back because of him, because he was afraid of spooking him away. Honestly, TK had to admit that most of times this relationship wasn’t fair because it was always about TK. This man was so phenomenal and would do all these things for him, because of him, without expecting nothing in return and TK didn’t know if there was any higher declaration of love. He needed to get his act together and start giving back. Carlos always held him through his panic attacks, and got involved in the messes he came up with, and had met his parents. Carlos knew so much and TK barely knew anything. And it wasn’t because they didn’t spend that much time together, so TK started to wonder if his communication barriers were coming across as disinterest.

He wanted to see Carlos’ cute childhood pictures. He wanted to meet his very loud and numerous Spanish speaking family. He wanted to hear the embarrassing teenage stories. He wanted to understand all the events that brought this perfect man to his life, all of his motivations and thoughts and needs too. He wanted to show he was willing to compromise. And to love this man as thoroughly as Carlos did him, even if he didn’t deserve it; even if he didn’t work for it. He was determined not to take the good things in his life for granted anymore.

He didn’t go to the bedroom, afraid he could awake his very tired boyfriend. So went through the kitchen drawers, his bathroom magazines, his coffee table in the living room. Looking for nothing in specific, but also hoping he’d find something interesting.

He laughed at himself, trying to convince himself that this was an innocent investigation. It was nothing like what he had endured already, a man in his life that allowed him no privacy – no social media on his own, his phone’s password was never chosen by him, he couldn’t have conversations with anyone and if he did… TK shook his head. This was nothing like that. TK had been through a lot in his very few years on this Earth and from time to time he questioned all of his actions just to make sure none of them matched those of the people that abused him on the past. The last thing he needed was to survive abuse just to become a perpetrator of it in the future, which is statistically highly likely to happen if your traumas don’t get treated with professional guidance.

He kept on going, looked for Carlos’ back-pocket notebook for a second because he knew his grocery shopping list would be there, but gave up when he couldn’t find it in any obvious location. It should be in his car.

Without many options left and with time going by _so slowly_ , TK finally locked eyes with Carlos’ TV stand. He never saw what was inside and was always curious about it. It was his chance.

He shouldn’t actually sit right now, but he went to the freezer, took some ice and placed it on a plastic bag, pulled a cushion from the couch and threw it on the floor. He placed the ice bag over it and seated over it. It still sting, but he had to suck it up at some point.

He didn’t expect anything, maybe some books because Carlos was indeed an incredibly intelligent man, but he wasn’t ready to see what he saw when he opened it.

And he didn’t know why he should be surprised. It was Carlos. His boyfriend had some strong old fashion vibes. From all the people he knew, it had to be Carlos to own an entire collection of LP’s and cassette tapes. The player was brand new, typical hipster style, and didn’t seem very used either. But all the records were worn out in some way and he knew Carlos got all of them in thrift stores.

If anyone resisted the streaming era, it would be his texan boyfriend, of fucking course.

TK started pulling record after record to examine them. There were a lot. The first thing he realized is that they seemed to be organized in some kind of order, because, yeah, Carlos; but he could not figure it out. He didn’t want to screw up Carlos’ organization system, so he did it with the most care and placed them in a way he would know how to put back together exactly the way it was before.

He couldn’t recognize the majority of the names, but all of it seemed like old music. From the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s. Here and there he’d find a series of records of someone more identifiable like Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston and – ok, he couldn’t deny their power, so, respect – it pissed him off because he thought he hit the pot of gold with this one and blew it.

His mind traveled back to a few months prior when he needed to borrow Carlos’ car… They weren’t even dating officially and Carlos let him borrow his precious sports car. This man didn’t even made an effort to hide how surrendered he was to TK, if only TK knew how to express his feelings in the same way… But he guessed there was a part of him now that would always close itself up at the sight of intimacy and honesty, in a self-preservatory move he’d have to work a lot to get rid of.

Carlos found out in the most embarrassing way about what kind of music TK liked. Now, he’d always come around to pick up TK after work with his speakers blasting out some Ariana Grande or Blackpink – which TK might or might not know all the choreographics to –, just to give Judd and Marjan reason to importune him all day long. They made a Tik Tok dancing to Rain On Me and sent it to TK on his day off just because they knew it’d strike a nerve. Joke’s on them, TK thought they were starting to like his style of music. He knew his dad got infected after very little exposition and now couldn’t get rid of it. Mateo asked him to teach him a few choreography on the down low, because he wanted to have something to show off for girls in the clubs except his badge. Things went south fast with that one, when Mateo started _showing off_ his new tricks in the country pub they used to go to – the one where he line danced for the first time in his life. They all had a laugh, a lot of Instagram stories and Owen locked eyes with him almost immediately, knowing this was his son’s doing.

It was his time to get back at him and… There was no material for him to work with. He had to actually have some knowledge on the matter to make it funny, Snatch Game thought him that, and he had no idea what was in front of his eyes. He had some research to make, going through Jason Aldean, Blake Shelton and several other white straight dudes with guitars on the cover of their albums in the exact same pose that almost made them look like the same person.

Things got interesting when he started going through the cassette tapes. They seemed to have some more recent music like… Nickelback, My Chemical Romance and Panic! At The Disco, Simple Plan, Paramore… This went on and on. TK covered his mouth in disbelief. Had Carlos gone through an emo phase? He could not believe it and **he needed proof now**. He needed the pictures. He needed to find a way to contact his mother and sisters immediately. If he had any picture with a perm on, it was going to be game over for him. Sweet Lord, TK laughed alone only imagining all the things he could do to bully his boyfriend. Never again Carlos’d think it was okay to go head to head with TK.

The room was a complete mess and his plan of keeping his records in the same neat order as before was totally not gonna happen when he pulled out the player. His eyelids were heavy, it was almost noon and he barely hadn’t slept. He went through the last stack of records that were even weirder because they were latin music. He knew something, like Selena Quintanilla and Shakira. When he came across a the last ones, kept almost like Carlos was trying to hide them, something didn’t feel right on his chest about Menudo and Rebelde. Like he was supposed to know who they were. And when he googled them…

Well.

Carlos would never see it coming.

Two hours later, when Carlos woke up, already looking for TK around the house before even opening his eyes; his mind never caught on what the mess on his living room might mean even if his most well hidden secrets were _right there_ , not so safe from his sisters’ reach anymore.

There was Dolly Parton music playing softly in the background, a song Carlos knew the lyrics by heart, but the thing he cared about the most in this world was in his couch, laying with his face against the leather and breathing slowly. Carlos didn’t have the heart to wake up TK, so he did what he always did when he saw TK doing something cute: took a picture and made it his phone’s new wallpaper.

For a few minutes he just sat there, mouthing the lyrics of music he liked about a simple love, watching TK sleep.

They loved each other. TK was there and wasn’t going anywhere. They had some issues, but were strong enough to work through them. Looking at TK’s relaxed sleeping face, it was the first time since meeting him, he genuinely felt they might make it together. After all, all they had to do was try. They made a pretty good team.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your support!  
> Special thanks to @wxnge on twitter that helped me translate to Spanish all of Carlos' pertinent dialogue. I am, indeed, Brazilian, but it might come as a shock to some of you that we do not speak Spanish here.  
> I hope you had a good time reading this! It was emotionally draining to write, specially because I haven't written anything (except the first part of the series) in 5 years.  
> I hope to find all of you safe and well. Please follow the public health authorities' advices, not the orange clown.


End file.
